The Uninspired Reader Syndrome: seeking treatment

So... my lack of inspiration is getting a bit daunting, and I must do something about it. I don't even feel like my usual self. I love reading, I love handling my cards, but I feel like the whole experience is becoming stale. It's like eating candy with the wrapper, or watching a beautiful spring day through a dirty and scratched glass. The beauty is right there, but you can't access it for some reason.

Thus, I decided to ask the cards. What should I do about my Uninspired Reader Syndrome?

I confess I was surprised by the Peddler's Ace in the Head position. This is one of the cards that follow me... and I usually don't see it with good eyes. However, this card is in a favourable position for its suit, and it has Livia right below it. Livia is a kind and warm presence, a constant fire. The 5♦, on the other hand, is a more chaotic fire, because of the instability of the number 5 itself.

So, I decided to give the card a chance of showing me its best side. I felt this card was talking about exchanges - of energy, and maybe even of money. My practice is too lonely, too private - I need to exchange my knowledge and skills with others. I need to 'sell my product'.

Livia, Q♦ in the Throat position speaks of connecting to a warm source of learning and inspiration. She is certainly a woman older than I, in her bowl she is offering her knowledge and her guidance. This card tells me I should maybe look for a mentor, someone who can help me to develop my card-reading skills.

The two fire cards make the message clear: dynamism is necessary. Change is necessary.

The Grail Tarot says... look for new horizons.

I spent the weekend thinking about how to address my lack of cartomantic inspiration... I still couldn't come with a good text, I think I need more time. Like a friend of mine suggested, I might be going through a burn-out... along with a faith crisis. A hazardous combination.

So, yesterday before going to bed, I was drinking a cup of tea and mindlessly shuffling my Grail Tarot deck. It's one of the few tarot decks that has managed to maintain it's appeal to me after my temporary break-up with the tarot. I like this deck for many reasons. I love the art, I love the fact all the cards form a continuous frieze when laid side by side, I love the objectiveness of the book... and while the Grail quest is deeply entwined with spirituality, the book does not attempt to cram the "divine" into your mind. When I'm using this deck, and reading the book, I feel like I'm being advised by an old and wiser friend, and not consulting any supernatural sources.

As I sipped my tea, I felt the urge to ask my deck what should I do regarding the triteness in my card-reading practice. I pulled two cards, following one of the spreads taught by John Mathews in the Grail companion book: The Brothers Spread. The first card is the indicator. It gives you a more or less direct answer to your question, or indicates what should be done. The second card is the qualifier. It details or qualifies the answer given in the first card.

My question was: what should I do about my card-reading practice?

1. Indicator: Two of Lances
This cards shows the Seeker walking through the pouring rain, wondering what is the purpose of all that. He's not a beginner - he has faces difficulties and overcome challenges before. But has to decide now how will he use the lessons learnt in the past, and the skills he developed over the years. As an indicator, this cards tells me I am going through a similar phase - it's a moment of self-doubt. Like the man in the cards, I need to keep my focus in order to persevere. I also need to make a choice, regarding how I'm going to use what I have learnt so far in a more productive way.

2. Qualifier: Preceptor of Lances
This card shows the Seeker receiving the Holy Lance from his teacher. It's a card that suggests the start of a new journey, the lance representing a new source of energy and creativity that is being received. As a qualifier, this cards says that I should look for something that may spark my creativity, and definitely use my skills to start something different. The way it is going is not working - if I do not wish to lose my focus, I must find a new horizon. The presence of Preceptor also shows that I should really consider looking for classes and workshops that could get me in touch with different people, from whom I may learn.


The Grail Tarot © REDFeather, John Matthews & Giovanni Caselli