I can't wait for 2013 to be over. What a dreadful year! Like a proper Saturn year, it tested my family and I in all ways possible and, when we thought we would finally be able to breath, Old Father Time came and took my beloved Grandfather with him. Yes, my dear grandpa, the man who was often closer to me than my own father. He had been battling leukaemia for almost an year and a half. He was strong, he fought bravely, but in the end... he was only extending his suffering, and he deserved his rest. I hope he's in peace now.
Saturn is not only the bestower of trials and obstacles, but he's also the one who helps us to recognise our limitation and persevere when all seems lost. And I know that for the last couple of years he has been here with me, testing me, forcing me to face reality and get up to fulfil my responsibilities when all I wanted was to lie down and forget. But Saturn sometimes makes us too critical and a bit awkward when we should relax. In the moments we really oughta let go... we get overstrung. We are unable to go with the flow, to expand, to let life bring what it may. Walking too long with Saturn kills a bit our flexibility, no doubt.
Later today I'm going to travel, to spend the New Year holidays with my dad & his family. I already know some problems wait for me there (my stepmother being one of them), all of which easily make me fall into a downward spiral of self-criticism, until I'm suddenly hating myself and feeling utterly inadequate.
Surviving the holidays seems hard enough, but how will I survive my own negative self-talk? So I decided to get some advice from the Flower Speaks, asking how can I become more positive towards myself.
