Interview with the Oracle of the Dragonfae (2nd edition)

Back in earlier days of this blog, when it was still called "Saturness", I developed a routine of doing weekly readings called "Oh No, It's Monday!" ("ONIM", for short). It was meant to be guidance for the coming week and it worked quite well. The oracle that inspired me to start it was the Oracle of the Dragonfae (the first edition), which I owned back then.

You will not find these posts here because I have deleted them. The reason was that I felt some of them contained a lot of details about my daily life which I did not feel comfortable having online anymore. Not that this blog is not filled ad nauseam with my experiences, but I have always strived to weave them into more universal reflections regarding oracle reading and/or spirituality. The ONIM readings focused too much on my ordinary life though.

Anyway, the first edition of the Oracle of the Dragonfae came to me through a trade, and I didn't pay much attention to the deck until I had a dream about it. In this dream, a voice constantly called the name 'Fernia', which I had no idea what it was. When I woke up, I went looking through my decks to find which one contained a card with this name... and, indeed, it was one of the Dragonfae cards. From that point forward, I became very connected to the deck.

But then lots of things changed in the years after that, and I ended up passing the Oracle of the Dragonfae on. I regretted it eventually, but nothing could be done, it was gone. Then, recently, I came across this deck again and decided to buy it. It has gone through some great changes for the second edition (which include the redesign of many of the cards) but its spirit remains the same as I remembered.

To start working with it again, I decided to do a deck interview spread.

Alone in the mysteries of Spring

Yesterday, I celebrated the Spring Equinox (Ostara). Alone, as usual, with a glass of wine, music, poetry and a feeling of deep connection to Her.

I talked to Her. I told Her bout my fears, my limitations, my doubts. She knows it all, but it felt good to be able to say certain things out loud. Things that were like a stone stuck down my throat. Things I cannot share with other human beings.

The more time passes, the more I seem less able to find people with whom I can fully connect and share with. It seems I am always making myself smaller, more digestible, less complex, less conflicted, as to not be unpalatable to others. As to not bother them with my intensity. I cut myself in little pieces so that they can chew me without choking. 

My therapist says it's a smart defence technique of mine, since the outside world cannot always take us as we are, specially if we are to keep a certain social harmony. She says it's the way I protect my soft inner core from the outside aggression. I agree. I do get lonely sometimes, though.

But with my Mother, I can share it all. She already knows me, there's no little secret, no guilty pleasure, no hidden shame that She is not aware of. She is my freedom. Before Her, I am naked, and seen, and heard.

My craft project for Ostara was a hanging pentagram decorated with dried flowers. I made it from a flexible small branch that I cut from a tree (I asked permission and left some natural offerings in exchange) and a some cotton string. I quite like it... right now it's on my altar, but I plant to hang it on my front door, or somewhere visible, as an amulet and also a symbol of my devotion.

After many years, I have come to terms with the fact my practices are likely to remain solitary... and it's not so bad, for now. I am only rediscovering who I am in terms of spirituality, beliefs, goals and dreams. I have often been flooded by the inputs of others in the past, to the point of never believing – not even hearing – my own voice. It's all right for me to explore and occupy the mysterious places within myself without others knowing of it, questioning it, criticising it, disagreeing with it. My solitude in this is also my protection. And during my rites, I always know that, though I seem to be alone, I am never really lonely.

She is with me. She knows me by name.

PCO: What to expect of my internship?

Finding an internship in Psychology during the pandemics has been no easy feat. Many places that used to offer positions for interns have reduced their staff significantly. But, thanks to a friend, I have managed to get an internship at an educational institution. The drawback? It's going to be entirely online.

It makes sense – all my classes and even my job are online these days – , but I confess I can't help but feel somewhat sceptical. It'll be my first practical experience in Psychology, an area that demands interactions and opportunities to observe, and having to experience it all through a screen doesn't sound very exciting. So I did a reading asking what should I expect of this internship? 

First of all, the numbers in this spread are all low and most are even (the 3♣ being the only exception). This tells me that the experience as a whole may be more underwhelming than expected or hoped for. There is not Diamond card, which makes sense since I won't be getting paid, but it also denotes a lack of ambition, energy and creativity. The amount of black cards also speaks of a colder, more introspective vibe here.

The 2♥ + 4♠ make a interesting, balanced combination, that mitigates somewhat the first impressions given by the numerology. The Lovers in the Head position show that the internship will involve me emotionally. The 4♠ is a cold, aggressive wind that asks us to take shelter. And the Lovers are right above it, tied and naked... in short, vulnerable. 

I don't think the cards point at something dramatically bad, only that this internship will force me to face my own vulnerabilities. I have been a good Psychology student so far, but can I be a good Psychologist professional? Also, the fact that the two figures are tied in the 2♥ makes me think I'll not have a lot of "freedom" in my activities. This is reinforced by the two runes I drew, which I'll come back to later.

The 4♠ + 6♠ also add to the impression of "cold" I felt before. The 6♠ (The Ruins) in the Heart position speaks strongly of loneliness to me. There won't be much spontaneous emotional warmth or support. The focus will be on responsibility, pragmatic work, bureaucracy, organisation and other Earth-related characteristics. 

The 3♣ in the Foot position puzzles me a bit. It's the only odd number card, and the 3s always make me think of the steps in a stair, that allow you to go up or down. But either way, you have to move. I think this experience, in spite of its limitations, will help me to grow. My state of mind will contribute to how much I can "take" from it. Also, being in the position of practical things, the 3♣ also reinforces an idea of introspection, since it's a card of silence and careful ponderation.

The geomancy for this spread is Tristitia + Caput Draconis = Conjunctio. Tristitia stands for sadness, indifference, boredom, which I believe reflect well how I feel about this situation. Caput Draconis, however, is a very good figure that points to positive beginnings. I think it's saying that my mind is creating this bleak outlook more than the events themselves. Conjunctio tells me the situation will balance itself out, and the cons will not outweigh the pros. 

All in all, I get the impression that this internship will not be breakthrough experience. It'll be a bit dry, but still I will be able to grow from it. I have to take it as it comes and make most of it, because my mental and emotional state will influence a lot on how much I can enjoy it. 

Last, but not least, the Witches Runes: I got the Eye and the Crossroads. These two symbols together make me think of a "blocked vision" and of "feeling blocked because one is being watched". And, indeed, even though my experience will be online, I have a lot of people watching and taking notes of what I do. I think this relates interestingly to the "limitation of movement" I saw in the 2♥. There won't be much room for innovation or experimentation, it'll be a tranquil but matter-of-fact experience overall. 

The Playing Card Oracles © Ana Cortez & C.J. Freeman

Tarot de Marseille: What is this meeting about?

This reading was done for my friend C.L right before she had a meeting she was a nervous about. She's in the process of prearing herself to leave the place she works at, and she feared this sudden meeting was about sending her away before she was ready to. 

So I pulled 5 cards from my old Majors-only Tarot de Marseille and laid them in a Peladan Spread. I wanted to know, objectively, what the metting was about and whether she had any reason to worry. 

As soon as I looked at the cards, I knew she had no reason to worry.

What a slow reading. My first impression what that the meeting definitely wasn't about anything urgent. The Hermit, the High Priestess, the Temperance... hardly the material of a cataclysm.  

My interpretation was that the meeting was about bringing a situation to light. It was not the moment to keep secrets (High Priestess in the negative position), but rather to shed light and reveal things. The Wheel of Fortune suggested that an opportunity might appear. It also gave me the impression that this meeting would set her situation in her job at motion, but that any changes that came would happen slowly and require careful planning and balancing (Temperance). She would have time to do her things her way. No catastrophe, nothing terribly urgent.

The Justice as an advice told me she needed to be very objetive about whatever she had to say during this meeting. No appealing to emotions, only facts. And if any offers came, she needed to ponder about them rationally and be very clear about her choice.

After the meeting happened, C.L told me they wanted to offer her a new position of work – one that she had already rejected at heart, because it would involve working with the very people that were making her want to quit. She also said that she did most of the talking and that, indeed, the meeting ended up being an opportunity for her to show the reality of her situation and how she had been forced into isolation by the decisions of some people in her workplace (which fits the Hermit nicely). She brought up the injustices she had suffered, which also reflect the Justice card in the advice position.

So she said no to their offer, and announced she was going to leave by the end of the year. Her decision had already been made before the meeting, but revealing it publicly gave her the impulse to actually prepare to quit her job.

This reading was interesting because I got a feedback on the same day I did it. I still think I am a bit rusty. There were factors that I missed and that only became clear to me after the feedback. Still... I wasn't completely off beam and that's good too!