Every now and then it happens again. I see myself eagerly giving away my personal power to an unreliable person, usually a man who has been much embellished by my own imagination. This particular man is unreachable and impossible in my case and I know it - I've been trying to stay away from him - but the magnetism is too strong and there are times I find myself wanting to drift away to my dream in which "impossible" is a matter of point of view.
That's when the crows caw caw me back to reality.
It's annoying as hell the sound they make, but it's much needed.
I don't often use the PCO to read for myself nowadays. But today, after much suffering over something that just can't be solved, I picked my deck and laid some cards for me using
The Bridge spread Ana Cortez teaches in her book.
Now, I hate these crows of the 5♠. It's spells trouble whenever they show up... but the funny thing here is that the 5♠ is in the "Gifts of the Present" position. What I am supposed to carry with me. How can such a bad card be a "gift"?
Hell well. It's a warning.
Hear the crows? They are like those dragons in the unknown corners of an old map saying "here be monsters". Don't tell them you haven't been warned, 'cause the are cawing their lungs out trying to make you stop on your tracks before you turn a little problem into a big mistake.
The other interesting point of this spread is the Jack of Clubs - Lancelot himself! - sitting in the position that points to the "Obstacle of the Present". One can't feel luckier when the gift is a bunch of crows and the obstacle is Mr. Apparently Perfect, but that's the case. The J♣ here unites with the Q♣, Leah (who is in the Past position of the spread) to show me that a lot of the problem is in my head. I've been dreaming and daydreaming and building castles in the air. I have let my imagination take control and now I want something I cannot have - because it does not exist.
Imagination is wonderful but it isn't always wise.
My mind, for instance, is extremely skilled in taking a small bud of an idea and running away with it. When I come back to myself I have a huge tree in front of me; in fact, I am tangled in its roots.
I am like Leah, the Q♣, being carried away by my dream. Only instead of flying, I'm about to fall on my head, like her, who in this spread appears upside down.
But the crows choose this moment to come and caw caw caw caw until I pay attention. And that brings me to the last card, the future, at the same time painful and hopeful. The 7♥, Sword of Healing, tells me that healing is possible. But I have no choice. If I am to stop giving away my personal power, I'll have to cut the tree, extirpate this dream no matter how much comfort I find in it.
The fruit of imagination - the kind that is never manifested - is always bitter. My personal power and self-esteem will not heal until I cut away the users, instead of giving them access to my resources because my imagination has given them the shiny veneer of a possible dream.
The Playing Card Oracles © Ana Cortez & C.J. Freeman